I guess I'd like to say Thank You. No joke.

Bad Ideas wanted to be nice this post. I guess he didn't like the hate comments on our previous posts as much as I did. So I guess we're going to do a thank you post and for once try and not be like Mellisa Leo and say "Fuck" during our thank you. Oh fuck, I just said it. Fuck, I did it again. Ok stop.

Well, this blog normally likes poking fun at a lot of things. We mock everything from reality, religion, the system, how idiots believe in a 2000 year old storybook and how obesity is sometimes a matter of national security. Its also pretty sad most of the time a blog of this quality goes unread. But enough complaining. Now is the time to thank our few readers, our followers/minions (you know what you're getting into when you press follow), our commentors (even you Anon 1,2,3 and 4) and all those people on the sidelines rooting for us (which is like 1 person).

This journey started when a 14 year old boy decided he bored and wanted to spout random nonsense at the internet, back in 09. Then the journey stopped a couple months later because I needed to go to the bathroom, then was forgotten like that stripper you married in Vegas and was renewed with more gusto and writers in the new year. Since then we have tackled numerous problems of the world (and posted very few solutions) such as online scams, zodiac changes, M. Night Shyamalan, obesity, religion and overpopulation. But now we have finally crossed the 15 followers mark. We're lazy so it took us till 33 followers to make this post. So now we must SEXY PARTAY!

We apologize for the street beggar in the middle. He's a party animal.

That Guy and Bad Ideas

ENCYCLOPEDIA LIBRARICA BOOK 1 : THE BOOK OF THE RULES

What do you get when two idiots with nothing better to do are bored? (cue catchphrase...) RELIGION!

Thats right, we (Bad Ideas and That Guy) have started a new (and improved?) religion because we didn't think there were enough in the world. One god but only a couple hundred religions? That is why we decided to found one as well ... Librarianism.

Where do babies come from? You came from your mom, but obviously not the lazy ass sitting round your living room all day flipping through channels. Babies are born because the Great Librarian in the sky descends to your mom’s room and makes sweet love to her. We all have a part of the Librarian in us and therefore owe it to the Librarian to be quiet in the library and abide by his other simple rules or forever be cast into an abyss of bad television.

The Great Librarian's Book of Guidelines has set up a simple system for us to follow:

1. Be quiet in the library
2. Don’t tear or deface the knowledge pods in any way
3. Return all pods of knowledge before due date
4. Mock all other religions because lets face it, everyone else does it

Breaking these rules results in what I call "overdue points". You get 1 to 10 depending on the extremity of your crime. And your punishment is then determined by how many points you have. For example- 1 point means watch an episode of a daytime drama of the Librarian's choice. 10 points means buying, I repeat BUYING, the whole set of Librarian movies starring Noah Wyle and then watching them one after another, then watching them again with director commentary.

To partake in Librarianism, you need not even believe in the Librarian but to simply abide by these rules. You see, the Librarian is not omniscient (thank the Librarian) which is why he will not know whether you believe in him or not. He is not even omnipotent, only semi-potent or three-quarters potent or at best 99% potent because he cannot provide any good arguments supporting his existence.

And so concludes the first book of the Encyclopedia Librarica- The Book Of The Rules.