Thursday, 10 March 2011
ENCYLOPEDIA LIBRARICA BOOK 2: THE BOOK OF THE MIND
To get an idea what the hell this is about read about the first book of Encyclopedia Librarica.
A long long time ago (somewhere around last Tuesday) in a galaxy which we inhabit, there was a man. This man had a sheep. And this man also had bestiality issues (the word is zoophilia I think). After much injustice which we need not describe had been committed, this sheep gave birth to a half man, half anaconda, half crocodile creature … which died shortly after birth. Needless to say the man was outraged to find his sheep had not been loyal and had slept around (dare I pun that the sheep had been baa-d?). So the man slit his wrist with a rusty razor blade, got infected with tetanus, and died a slow and horrible death. But that also has nothing to do with the Librarian. The Librarian created this atrocity to amuse himself. That’s just how he rolls.
Some of his best jokes are Kirsten Stewart, emos, Hinduism, how George W. Bush got elected TWICE and all of Linkin Park’s follow up albums. I refuse to mention Justin Bieber on the Librarian’s sacred list of practical jokes because I have a life (or had one once upon a time) and will not get into discussing the sexuality and gender of one whom every catholic priest wishes to have sit on his lap someday.
Please note that we have translated the above paragraphs from recently uncovered ancient texts written in classic Stan Lee Marvel comics’ style to Lazy Blogger’s language. We take a break from translating to point out that Kirsten Stewart and other futuristic developments available only in an era of mass cell phone and microwave radiations have been mentioned in these (questionably) ancient texts meaning that the librarian must exist and is the truth. And back to translations.
Librarianism, like Abrahamic religions, requires you to pray to the almighty Great Librarian In The Sky (that is his official title and to save further typing we call him GLITS from now on) on a specific day. This day is Wednesday. Mainly because its right smack in the middle of the week and a general annoyance.
May the Librarian protect you from rape and strange middle aged men, Imad.
Bad Ideas & That Guy