Reginald

Hmm, this is to distract you while That Guy works on the real post. It's something I wrote in my English class. Got a 24 out of 25. Most others in the class are stupid. So, here it is:

Reginald is an expensive name. It cannot simply be bestowed upon anyone. To be even considered eligible for the label of 'Reginald' one has to be born into wealth measured in British Pounds; no other currency will do. After being given the title of 'Reginald' one has a certain duty to society. They need to be able to ride a horse with a certain level of elegance. Later in life, 'Reginald' will need to develop myopia or any similar optical disability which warrants the use of a monocle. 'Reginald' must, at all times, carry a golden pocket-watch upon their person and speak with a thick British accent. Reginald's attire ranges from a suit with a top hat to a suit without a top hat. When it comes to facial hair, some liberty is allowed, though mutton chops accompanied by a moustache are strongly recommended.

What other traits does a Reginald have? Do you know a Reginald who does not conform to the unwritten laws which govern him? If you were offended by this let me tell you you were not the first. This shark was offended too.